THE RIGHT STUFF


I was walking down the street - which I highly recommend if you intend getting from one place to another - when I noticed a sign outside a store which read "Discount For Seniors And The Military."  I was immediately struck by lightning.  No, wait, that was a dream I had.  I was immediately struck by how progressive the Canadian Army was. They not only welcomed little gay people into their ranks, they were now accepting seniors!  What an innovative idea!  I realized this was a revolutionary approach to ending all conflicts.  

You form an elite unit of senior citizens - they really should have their own distinct regiment - maybe the Pension Platoon or the Senior Squad - and place them on the front lines of battle.  As older people usually get up early, an attack at dawn is a piece of cake.  Then, when the order to charge is given, they stroll across no man's land pushing their walkers, stop halfway for a quick nap before knitting a scarf for the opposing army.  Who's going to fight them?  Before long, both sides will be sitting down to tea and scones.  And the whole confrontation will be over in time for cocoa and an early bed.  It's brilliant!


As a senior citizen myself - and with my years of pretending to be a secret agent - I considered myself to be more than qualified for this cutting edge approach, so I sent an application, along with a photo of me baking scones, to the Canadian Army.  I haven't heard back yet, but I'm sure I'll have a reply any day now.  Yes siree, any day now...



Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 29, 2025 at 2:01 PM

    Hilarious! I always look forward to Helen´s newest story.

    ReplyDelete

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