I was in a shop the other day and when I got to the cash desk to pay (as opposed to sticking the item under my shirt and legging it out the door), the cashier said “You get the seniors’ discount today.”
I turned around assuming he was talking to some old bag who was standing behind me and was horrified, nay OUTRAGED, to discover that HE WAS TALKING TO ME!!! The NERVE! I WAS THE OLD BAG!!! In a pathetic attempt to save face, I said “No thanks. I’m 35.” Well, it took me about an hour to finally pay him because his co-workers had to lift him off the floor where he had fallen in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Now, in my Irish days I’d have been over that counter in a trice and beaten the living snot out of him and left him in a semi-conscious state, never again to utter those immortal words “You get the seniors’ discount today." In fact, I’d have reduced him to such a pathetic state that the mere mention of a senior would have sent him into a mental institution in a straitjacket. And not only that - I’d have gone through his pockets and made HIM pay for my stuff.
But I smiled through gritted teeth and thanked him most profusely, adding that I hoped he and his next of kin would enjoy a long, happy, productive life and, on their departing this world, would find nirvana in the next.
Some weeks later I was on the bus - standing because all of the seats were taken - when a man who was not only visibly older than me but in a state that I can only describe as 'one foot in the grave', stood up and offered me his seat.
I gave him a death stare that would have scared the bejesus out of Darth Vader. I wanted to pick him up and throw him and his seat out the window - without opening it - and yell "These aren't wrinkles! They're laugh lines!" But I accepted the seat gracefully, making sure I stood on his foot as I did so.
In the old days my reaction would have left everyone on the bus traumatized. But alas and alack I am now a Canadian which means I am polite and accommodating. I smile at people and wish them a good day. Why, just the other day I said “Have a nice day” to a strange man on the street. He was on the other side of the street. And walking in the opposite direction. And on the phone. Speaking Spanish. But still…
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