'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

(a childhood memory)


 
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Nothing was stirring not even the spoons
The stockings had all been hung up by my Dad
And they hadn't been washed so they smelled pretty bad

I was tucked up in bed just as snug as could be
When a noise on the roof scared the pants off of me
It sounded all sneaky and bad like a crook
So I picked up my cap gun and went for a look


I climbed on the roof and my heart filled with dread
'Cos I saw this big weirdo all dressed in red
He was starting to climb down our chimney pot
So I took a good aim and I fired off a shot


Well my aim was a good one in spite of the dark
And I knew right away that my shot hit its mark
He let out a scream that would shatter plate glass
'Cos I hit that old criminal right in the ass


But then he turned round and he gave me a look
And that's when I knew that he wasn't a crook
And I felt really bad, I felt awful because
I knew then that I HAD SHOT SANTA CLAUS!!!


Well he stepped backwards, like he was having a fit
And that's when he slipped in the reindeer shit
Then he fell off the roof, he was right out of luck
I don't know what he said but it sounded like
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!










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