It's Always Darkest Before You Turn On The Light

(a childhood memory)   'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Nothing was stirring not even the spoons The stockings had all been  hung up by my Dad And they hadn't been washed so they smelled pretty bad I was tucked up in bed just as snug as could be When a noise on the roof scared the pants off of me It sounded all sneaky and bad  like a crook So I picked up my cap gun and went for a look I climbed on the roof and my heart filled with dread 'Cos I saw this big weirdo all dressed in red He was starting to climb down our chimney pot So I took a good aim and I fired off a shot Well my aim was a good one in spite of the dark And I knew right away that my shot hit its mark He let out a scream that would shatter plate glass 'Cos I hit that old criminal right in the ass But then he turned round and he gave me a look And that's when I knew that he wasn't a crook And I felt really bad, I felt awful because I knew then that I HAD SHOT SANTA CLAUS!!! ...

  The desert at the foot of Mount Sinai.  A balmy evening in late August.  Moses is tending sheep. God          Hey, Moses! Moses     (to a sheep)  Who said that?  Was  that you? Ewe          Baa (I want to apologize for this terrible joke and I can assure you that whoever is responsible for it will be fired immediately if not sooner.) God          It's me, God.  C'mere, I want to show you something Moses     God?  Where are you? God          I'm up here on top of the mountain Moses     Can you come down here and show me? God          No Moses     Why not? God          Coz I don't want to Moses     You want me to climb all the way up there? God          Yes.  And hurry up, I don't have all day Moses     But, see...