COME FLY WITH ME
I was at the airport excitedly heading off to parts unknown - I was heading for the gate for New York but I had spilled ketchup on my ticket and tried to rub it off so it now looked like it said that I was going to Eww Yuck, so I literally didn't know where I'd end up. I had a bottle of water in my bag which I forgot about until it went through the x-ray machine and all kinds of alarms went off. The airport went into a stage 5 lockdown, all entrances and exits were sealed off, INTERPOL was notified, Seal Team 6 were en route, and a very official-looking security officer held up my bag and asked "Who owns this?" I said "I do," and he gestured for me to step out of the line-up. Now, that wasn't a good idea on his part because there's nothing I hate more than the gesture-instead-of-a-verbal-request approach, so we were off to a bad start right out of the gate, as it were. I strolled over to where he was standing holding up my bag like it was a tic...