SLIP SLIDING AWAY
It was a freezing cold day in January. How cold was it? I'm glad you asked. The newspaper headlines read "Nanook of the North Cancels Vancouver Trip Citing Extreme Cold." I was obliged to leave the pleasant confines of my domestic abode to sally forth down the street for something vital to my continued existence - milk for my cup of tea - and as soon as I walked outside I knew it was going to be an undertaking that would make even Edmund Hillary say "There's no way I'm going out in that." The sidewalk and street were covered with ice that was as slippery as.....as.....a very slippery thing. They were like glass. My heart raced. My stomach turned. My colon tightened. And yet I HAD to venture forth, for my errand was pressing! So I stepped gingerly onto the sidewalk and my legs took off in different directions. I cursed myself for not reinforcing my shoes with some device to give me some traction - like gl...