A STITCH IN TIME
So I was in the kitchen cooking a spaghetti that would make an Italian go "Mama Mia! How does-a she-a do it?", when, in a fit of what I can only assume was early onset dementia, I decided to wash the empty cans of tomato sauce so that they would be sparkling clean in the recycling bin and the guy who picked up the recycling would declare "Jesus! Would you look at the cleanliness of these cans! Why, they're SPOTLESS! I wish I could find the woman who washed these cans and personally thank her for making my day and demonstrating that if we all pull together we can make this world a better place for our children, and our children's children, and our children's children's children, and our chil...." Unfortunately, we will never know what he was going to say next, as he was hit by a falling elephant and squashed beyond recognition. His own wife, at the funeral parlour, said "I don't recognize him", farted and left. Incidentally, the e...